I open my FB account and the first news feed that I see there is that J. K. just
got married to B.K. Next what I can see is a silly diamond ring icon and their
picture together. Immediately underneath it, another news-feed is telling me that B.K
got married to J.K. A silly diamond ring icon and the same picture again. I know that
they got married. I am one of her best friends. Few days ago we
talked for a while on skype, all excited about it, laughing, a bit crying.
Happy. I just wonder what was the need for both of them to make
that announcement as public as possible, immediately after they got back home
from the ceremony?
My friends here are not an exception. Many FB users regularly update their FB relationship status, as they pass from one small to another bigger fight with their partner, moving slowly, with full tension from “in a relationship” to “it is complicated” to “single” status in few weeks or so.
My friends here are not an exception. Many FB users regularly update their FB relationship status, as they pass from one small to another bigger fight with their partner, moving slowly, with full tension from “in a relationship” to “it is complicated” to “single” status in few weeks or so.
Personally, I perceive FB primarily as a useful tool. I like
to use it as an info sheet for cultural and other kind of events. It connects
me with a wider circle of “friends” that share same interests.
However, as for any other social network, the public profile, the public representation of my personality must exist. Besides putting a nice, decent profile picture, I have to fulfill a summary of personal information that would give a complete shape of my image. The list of these information that create my public profile includes: family names and connections, name of the institutions where I study or I used to study, where I live or used to live, favorite books, movies and music, and the most valuable, precious, and important feature that gives such an elegant glimpse into the privacy of everyone - the relationship status.
However, as for any other social network, the public profile, the public representation of my personality must exist. Besides putting a nice, decent profile picture, I have to fulfill a summary of personal information that would give a complete shape of my image. The list of these information that create my public profile includes: family names and connections, name of the institutions where I study or I used to study, where I live or used to live, favorite books, movies and music, and the most valuable, precious, and important feature that gives such an elegant glimpse into the privacy of everyone - the relationship status.
There are 9 categories on my FB list that I can choose. I
read an article on this topic some days before, and there it was written that
there are 6 categories. So, things evolve! (meaning: these categories evolved from 6 to 9!)
What I can choose among the categories is that I am: “in a relationship”, that I have a “fiancé” that I am married or divorced or simply separated. In the Macedonian FB transcription, someone got really creative, so besides “it is complicated” (as one of the most interesting categories)they also suggest options like: “civic union” and “domestic partnership”. The most irritating category is the one that says “it is complicated”. Like it is not always like that?! The sense of promiscuity that goes along with such a statement makes from one love relationship a cheep version of a Spanish soap-opera (that infinitely occupies public’s attention with the “complications” of the lovers). It is an announcement of a possible infidelity, possible break up. It involves me as an audience into someone’s private life. At the end one can simply conclude it functions as every other market place. Sometimes I really feel embarrassed to see my friends selling themselves on the FB love market. A friend of mine told me that nowadays young boys asks young ladies in clubs “if they are on the market?” Such question brings up so many layers of meaning behind. However, youngsters just paste what they copy from the social networks. Because everybody is on the market, and they seem they like it.
In fact, being in a relationship is a matter of constant change. Relationships are, by definition, states of constant mutation and transformation. As long as one is in a relationship it is in a constant move. Things are always complicated in a relationship. People constantly get involved with new people, they constantly fight and love passionately, they have heavy talks, they bring decisions to have children or to get divorced. Someone dies, so the next day you become a widow/er.
All FB users, however, are so eager to define their statuses so they can belong to a category, to make it stable, to confirm it. They feel the need to be defined, to have a complete public profile, to have an identity that is recognized as such by the circle of 300 FB friends. It is a parody of life, if you ask me!
What I can choose among the categories is that I am: “in a relationship”, that I have a “fiancé” that I am married or divorced or simply separated. In the Macedonian FB transcription, someone got really creative, so besides “it is complicated” (as one of the most interesting categories)they also suggest options like: “civic union” and “domestic partnership”. The most irritating category is the one that says “it is complicated”. Like it is not always like that?! The sense of promiscuity that goes along with such a statement makes from one love relationship a cheep version of a Spanish soap-opera (that infinitely occupies public’s attention with the “complications” of the lovers). It is an announcement of a possible infidelity, possible break up. It involves me as an audience into someone’s private life. At the end one can simply conclude it functions as every other market place. Sometimes I really feel embarrassed to see my friends selling themselves on the FB love market. A friend of mine told me that nowadays young boys asks young ladies in clubs “if they are on the market?” Such question brings up so many layers of meaning behind. However, youngsters just paste what they copy from the social networks. Because everybody is on the market, and they seem they like it.
In fact, being in a relationship is a matter of constant change. Relationships are, by definition, states of constant mutation and transformation. As long as one is in a relationship it is in a constant move. Things are always complicated in a relationship. People constantly get involved with new people, they constantly fight and love passionately, they have heavy talks, they bring decisions to have children or to get divorced. Someone dies, so the next day you become a widow/er.
All FB users, however, are so eager to define their statuses so they can belong to a category, to make it stable, to confirm it. They feel the need to be defined, to have a complete public profile, to have an identity that is recognized as such by the circle of 300 FB friends. It is a parody of life, if you ask me!
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